Early in my recovery, I learned neither my son nor my husband was listening to anything I said. The FHE Health team is committed to providing accurate information that adheres to the highest standards of writing. This is part of our ongoing commitment to ensure FHE Health is trusted as a leader in mental health and addiction care. Take a look at our state of the art treatment center. The goal in making amends is “to freely admit the damage we’ve done and make our apologies,” according to The Big Book. In some cases, making amends may mean paying or promising to pay “whatever obligations, financial or otherwise, we owe,” the Big Book also states.
It goes beyond simply apologizing to taking steps to right a wrong. Whenever possible, those in recovery are encouraged to make direct amends face-to-face with https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/10-useful-sobriety-sayings-that-can-help/ those they’d harmed while living in addiction. A 12-step program is designed to encourage long-term sobriety, by fostering a spirituality for recovery.
Step Nine is that biggie step, the one we likely have created some anxiety over because it involves making amends. An example would be telling someone how sorry you are that you stole from them and actually giving back what you took. Turns out, I was a bossy control freak who was terrified of everything.
They may refuse to meet at all or refuse to listen to what you have to say. Sometimes it can be hard to know what to say when preparing to make amends. There may be so many times we feel we let someone down that it can be hard to know where to begin. We want to convey our heartfelt remorse but worry that our words will fall short.
When you make amends, you acknowledge and align your values to your actions by admitting wrongdoing and then living by your principles. But, by facing reality and the long-term impact of your actions, and making amends to those you’ve living amends hurt, you’re able to make peace with the past and put it behind you and move forward. Even so, you will have done all that you can to take responsibility for the past—and there’s a level of peace and freedom in that as well.
Each step signifies a new challenge to reflect and/or act in a way that changes old mindsets and behaviors that once fed addiction. Through mutual support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, members learn and practice these spiritual steps and principles, with a view to staying sober and helping others do the same. I’m sure you’ve heard that the steps are written in a specific order for a reason. That reason is that each step provides the spiritual preparation we’ll need for the following steps. Never in a million years would we ever have imagined during our using days that we would one day be able to sit down with the people we’ve harmed and make direct amends!